Yes. It seems obvious - after all, if you could just decide to be fine, you wouldn't really be ill at all, right? - but is so hard to understand for many people.
I believe that with your perspective, one probably overall has (much) more control over one's life than someone who keeps ignoring the signals of their body. I find it heartbreaking and infuriating at the same time to read about "victim mentality" comments. Dealing with serious chronic illness is one of the most psychologically challenging things one can experience, and coming to terms with it takes incredible strength. Anyone with even just a little bit of empathy should be able to see that. I think people making such comments either really completely lack empathy, or they just want to protect *themselves* from the idea that there might be serious health issues that cannot be fixed. I guess one just shouldn't listen to them, but I know how hard it can be in practice.
Thank you for reading and for your empathetic and validating comment. I think a lot of people just lack kindness and empathy, at least that’s been my experience, and I live in a country where disabled people are treated as expendable. It’s heartbreaking.
Yes, I've got the same impression over the last few years, sadly. I do think many people have at least the capacity for empathy, but if the social/political situation constantly favours competition & selfishness instead it seems to all but disappear.
We’ve all been given different crosses to bear, and in that contribution to our individuality, they DO define us, at least in part and often in large part. I think the goal is to accept who we are with grace. I smiled when I read your words because I’ve thought that many times when reading your work: that you walk your path with grace.
I really dislike the “fake it ‘til you make it” concept. I frowned the first time I heard it as I’m not a good “faker” by nature, and I shy away from anything/one fake. After having “fake it ‘til I make it” drilled at me (not into me because my being was not receptive) in recent years, I now find it absolutely aversive. I’m grateful for your gentle presence and honesty. It’s a beautiful thing.
Oh my goodness, this is such high praise. Thank you so much for reading and for your kind words. It took me a long time to reach a place of acceptance and honestly, I am not as graceful about it as I try to be! But I am trying, because fighting the cross and judgment from others takes up too much precious energy that I often do not have.
Thank you again for your words of kindness and validation. 🤍
It’s well-deserved praise. Every day is a gift and a struggle in some way. We are better at it some days than others, and you keep moving forward. So, yes, well-deserved praise. And yes, your energy is precious and must be wisely managed. Thanks for sharing your light. ✨
This is so true. People are uncomfortable around long term chronic illness. As if you only did this or that. If you didn't give in to it. What they are really saying is make me feel OK about what's going on with you. In truth nobody sees the struggle we have just to get out of bed in the morning. To get dressed washed. That's before we can put our best face on to appear in public. Nor do they see the impact those outings have on our lives . How we might be laid up for days after without the energy to leave the house. We need a new mindset. There are some people who will become chronically ill. All of us will become terminally ill at some point!
As a society we need to make life easier for those who struggle and not judge those who are not able. I hear your pain and I truly empathise thank you for sharing x
Thank you so much for reading and for your thoughtful response. Yes, there is so much that goes unseen! I remember in the early stages of my illness, I had one good day where I was able to enjoy lunch outside with my husband. A former friend saw us and then accused me of lying about my illness. What she didn’t see was the week before that I spent bed, or all the doctors appointments and hospital visits. People are so quick to judge and make assumptions with chronic and invisible illness.
This is such a powerful piece Ari. It really is so vital that you share your experiences and these truths. Not only are you sharing your voice, you are also giving a voice to so many who live with chronic illness and have no doubt experienced similar, unfair judgment or treatment. Thank you for being such a genuine and honest voice.
Yes. It seems obvious - after all, if you could just decide to be fine, you wouldn't really be ill at all, right? - but is so hard to understand for many people.
I believe that with your perspective, one probably overall has (much) more control over one's life than someone who keeps ignoring the signals of their body. I find it heartbreaking and infuriating at the same time to read about "victim mentality" comments. Dealing with serious chronic illness is one of the most psychologically challenging things one can experience, and coming to terms with it takes incredible strength. Anyone with even just a little bit of empathy should be able to see that. I think people making such comments either really completely lack empathy, or they just want to protect *themselves* from the idea that there might be serious health issues that cannot be fixed. I guess one just shouldn't listen to them, but I know how hard it can be in practice.
Thank you for reading and for your empathetic and validating comment. I think a lot of people just lack kindness and empathy, at least that’s been my experience, and I live in a country where disabled people are treated as expendable. It’s heartbreaking.
Yes, I've got the same impression over the last few years, sadly. I do think many people have at least the capacity for empathy, but if the social/political situation constantly favours competition & selfishness instead it seems to all but disappear.
We’ve all been given different crosses to bear, and in that contribution to our individuality, they DO define us, at least in part and often in large part. I think the goal is to accept who we are with grace. I smiled when I read your words because I’ve thought that many times when reading your work: that you walk your path with grace.
I really dislike the “fake it ‘til you make it” concept. I frowned the first time I heard it as I’m not a good “faker” by nature, and I shy away from anything/one fake. After having “fake it ‘til I make it” drilled at me (not into me because my being was not receptive) in recent years, I now find it absolutely aversive. I’m grateful for your gentle presence and honesty. It’s a beautiful thing.
Oh my goodness, this is such high praise. Thank you so much for reading and for your kind words. It took me a long time to reach a place of acceptance and honestly, I am not as graceful about it as I try to be! But I am trying, because fighting the cross and judgment from others takes up too much precious energy that I often do not have.
Thank you again for your words of kindness and validation. 🤍
It’s well-deserved praise. Every day is a gift and a struggle in some way. We are better at it some days than others, and you keep moving forward. So, yes, well-deserved praise. And yes, your energy is precious and must be wisely managed. Thanks for sharing your light. ✨
This is so true. People are uncomfortable around long term chronic illness. As if you only did this or that. If you didn't give in to it. What they are really saying is make me feel OK about what's going on with you. In truth nobody sees the struggle we have just to get out of bed in the morning. To get dressed washed. That's before we can put our best face on to appear in public. Nor do they see the impact those outings have on our lives . How we might be laid up for days after without the energy to leave the house. We need a new mindset. There are some people who will become chronically ill. All of us will become terminally ill at some point!
As a society we need to make life easier for those who struggle and not judge those who are not able. I hear your pain and I truly empathise thank you for sharing x
Thank you so much for reading and for your thoughtful response. Yes, there is so much that goes unseen! I remember in the early stages of my illness, I had one good day where I was able to enjoy lunch outside with my husband. A former friend saw us and then accused me of lying about my illness. What she didn’t see was the week before that I spent bed, or all the doctors appointments and hospital visits. People are so quick to judge and make assumptions with chronic and invisible illness.
This is such a powerful piece Ari. It really is so vital that you share your experiences and these truths. Not only are you sharing your voice, you are also giving a voice to so many who live with chronic illness and have no doubt experienced similar, unfair judgment or treatment. Thank you for being such a genuine and honest voice.
Thank you so much for your kind words and support. 🤍
Absolutely true and beautiful piece.
Thank you so much, Justin. So grateful to have your support!